Random Venting

Lincoln is totally not potty trained and I don't care. There, I said it.


In fact, I barely even ask him if he wants to sit on the potty. Bad mommy, sort of. But, so many of our days at home just me, Lincoln, and Ben are challenging enough just existing and feeling like I'm being a good mommy. If I had it in me I would make sure we didn't have any tv, I would make sure that the pacifiers were put away except for naps (or maybe even then), I would make sure my kids actually ate balanced meals, I would aim at not having any processed foods, I would make sure I worked with both boys on their words, alphabet, counting, songs, and such, I would make sure we spent at least half an hour outside playing, I would make sure that I asked Lincoln every hour if he needed to use the potty and then used pull-ups or underwear all day. Guess what - that's not where I am. Not any of it.

I stressed and worried myself into a near frenzy when I started staying home with the boys. Now I could usually care less (mostly). I feel like we have a good day if we all get a nap and if we do some playing upstairs away from the tv. As it gets nicer some of the outside stuff will change. As Ben gets a little less crazy some more of it will change. One day Lincoln will want to go on the potty and then I'll step up. Until those days - this is where we are and life is good. :o)

(This is in response to a question from Alanna - Do you think that Ben is really more into things because of his personality...or because your attention is more divided...and you can't watch him 100% of the time like you could with Lincoln?)

I think Ben is into things in a different way than Lincoln was and that it's due to his personality. However, I know that he is less supervised and less stimulated to do things that are traditionally good for his learning/development. Plus, he can learn from Lincoln and from us working with Lincoln. Here's one example that doesn't seem to be related to amount of supervision, exactly. Lincoln liked to go through the gate and would try to get through. However, he wouldn't try very hard and he could be easily distracted. When Ben wanted to get through the gate that was the only thing important in his world. He could reason his way through any barrier or lock we put up (and this is true for everything, not just the gate). So, maybe he has had more time to focus on it, but it seems to be more his personality, too.

Both boys were climbers. Lincoln climbed onto his little chair and fell/jumped over the back until we moved it against the wall. Ben climbs on it and sits all proud of himself. But when he gets that wild hair, he likes to stand on it (or the couch, or the kitchen chairs). I think Lincoln had what might be fear about that kind of completely unsupported thing.